To all Parents:

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION.

To new parents: the instant you find out you're going to have a baby (preferably the moments before you decide to even get married) decide right then how you are going to train this child, and all children you may have.

KEEP IT CONSISTENT.

Get the arguing done now, before your child has ears to hear your hurtful words and understand them. Figure out what sort of punishment you think is right, and make sure you don't just think this now but you will think it 18 years or so down the road when you (may) have six kids and have realized that "actually, this wasn't such a bad thing" and your approach to things (even silly things like running in the house or finishing all your food) changes with your youngest child and the oldest begin to resent you (even if they don't realize it) for changing the rules.

We actually like the rules.

WHEN THEY DO NOT CHANGE.

This is not the time to be all lovey-dovey and "Oh, whatever you want, dear." This is the time to voice your opinion, your actual opinion, and by the Board of Education itself please be kind and considerate of your spouse when they voice an opinion different than yours. This is called a difference between two people. It happens. It's normal. Figure out how to reconcile these differences.

Now is the time, not years later when Mommy puts the kids to bed at 8:00 sharp and Daddy puts them to bed at 9:00. Not when Mommy figures out that actually, this is a better plan and acts on it without consulting Daddy, so when Daddy comes home and tries to enforce the rules he gets informed (by his kids) that those are now the old rules.

If you want your children to not watch certain movies, oh, please, please, please, wrangle it out with your spouse so nothing changes towards your children.

Present a unified front.

To current parents: If, later on, you realize that one of the rules isn't a good one, you talk to your spouse and if they agree then you change the rule. You inform the children and they know this is something that happens because Mommy and Daddy are a team and they love their children and when they see a rule in place that is not a good one they change it.

Do Not, I repeat, Do NOT, ever, ever get yourself into a position where any of the following sentences have to be spoken: "I'm sorry, but this is what Dad said we have to do, so we have to do it." "I wouldn't allow this, but your mother has grown negligent so I guess it's all right." "I just don't know what to do anymore."

This kills your children. Got it? This is not okay. Never.

This pits them against either parent, the one who made Mommy cry or the one who made Daddy sad. (tip for the dads: on average, we see Mom more. We tend to side with her. It's not right, but it's the way it is. You treat your wife correctly, you love her, and we'll be more forgiving.)

[A lot of this runs up against marital harmony, which I have no experience with, but from what I can see it looks to be rather simple.

Talk.
Listen.
(let me emphasize that for you)
LISTEN.
Do not bring your marriage struggles into the kids' lives.
Do not argue in front of them.
Do not ask your children if your point of view is correct, and your spouse is wrong.
Do not complain to them about how awful your spouse is being.
For pity's sake, LISTEN and act on what you hear.
If they get angry and say things, not all of them are things they didn't mean.
If you believe they are wrong on something, tell them (in private--we don't need to know) and calmly listen to their reasoning.
Be polite. (strange, isn't it, how you need reminding to be polite to the person you agreed to spend the rest of your life with?)
What it basically boils down to:
Treat others the way you want to be treated.]

I'm not quite sure how to sum this up. I don't have kids, but I am one, and most of the things above I've dealt with. If you want to get all cynical, our culture is going down the tubes. Our children are broken, the family life is in ruins, divorce is rampant--
I can't just be quiet.

It's all so simple in theory. Love others the way you love yourself. (How much do you love yourself? And even if you don't like yourself very much, you still certainly love yourself. Always.) Be consistent.

I don't know how much that will change anything, (or if anyone even reads this) but it's got to help.